SlapMetricsThat's it. That's the app.
Menu bar app for Mac. Plug in Stripe, GA4, Datafast, or Search Console. Set goals and triggers — your screen erupts with emoji and meme sounds.
SlapMac made laptops scream when you hit them. SlapMetrics makes yours react when your metrics move. Same energy. Different trigger.
How it works
Not a dashboard. A menu bar app that watches your metrics and slaps your screen when something worth reacting to happens.
Link Stripe, GA4, Datafast, or Search Console from the menu bar. OAuth — takes a minute. SlapMetrics starts watching.
Revenue, MRR, purchases & refunds
Sessions, signups, pageviews
Visitors, revenue, goal completions
Clicks, impressions, rankings
Goals — hit a number, get slapped. Triggers — every sale, every refund, each with its own emoji and meme sound.
$100 revenue today
🚀 + Jerry Maguire moan
Every Stripe sale
💰 + cha-ching
Every refund
🖕 + dramatic scream
500 GA sessions today
🔥 + airhorn
SlapMetrics lurks in your menu bar. When a goal lands or an event fires, your whole screen erupts — emoji rain, banner overlay, meme sound. No charts to check. Your Mac tells you.
Customize
Every goal and trigger gets its own emoji, meme sound, and on-screen message. Dial the intensity up or down — your chaos, your rules.
Emoji burst, glass card, meme sound — the whole desktop gets slapped.
Quiet corner notification. Still plays your sound — no screen takeover.
Start from curated combos — Bag, Moon, Rage — then tweak emoji and sound.
Choose per goal or trigger — rockets, middle fingers, whatever fits.
Moans, screams, cha-chings, airhorns — preview before you save.
Custom headline on screen: "Show me the money!", "Noooo!", your call.
Drop MP3 or WAV into the Sounds folder — name them like moan_clip.mp3 and they override bundled lines.
Glance at revenue, sessions, or clicks without opening the panel.
Lifetime license
A macOS menu bar app. Connect Stripe, GA4, Datafast, or Search Console. Set goals and event triggers. When your metrics move, your screen erupts.
No. Dashboards show numbers. SlapMetrics makes your Mac react to them.
Yes. Menu bar only. Silent until something worth celebrating — or mourning.
Download the app, purchase your license in-app, then paste your key when prompted. Takes 10 seconds.
